My Five Things #1

In this first edition of My Five Things, I talk about Something i’ve loved doing, What i’ve been consuming, Favourite purchases & what’s in my cart, A design feature & art that’s inspired me……and How I’m feeling & thought’s I’ve been pondering with.

I had brunch with a friend last week and naturally, we were discussing upcoming travels – for some reason, both of us are resonating with visiting Copenhagen, which I fell in love with since The Prince And Me aired twenty years ago. We of course discussed life in general, shoes and little things we’ve been doing to keep healthy. We also spoke about our passions and of course this blog, my passion project, came up. I have been pondering with thoughts that I haven’t been doing enough with the blog. I haven’t been writing enough – I have plenty in my drafts but the perfectionist in me doesn’t think it’ll be good enough. Do I have enough photos, perhaps I need more research to back up the things I say, perhaps I could improve my sentence structure, or wait, that sentence isn’t grammatically correct. I haven’t been able to build the community of women to inspire and be inspired by as I’m not sharing enough. In this day and age of quick judgement and criticism, and with things going viral at the click of the finger, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been resisting the urge to simply write whatever that’s on my mind. And I’m so so glad for that little brunch (that turned into a six hour rendezvous with four orders of iced chocolate, coffee, sandwich stacks and a chocolate tart) because my friend said – I think you’re trying too hard, you’re thinking too much. Just be yourself.

Which was exactly what I needed to hear. Just yesterday, E (the husband) and I had a conversation about ‘taking advice’. Which opinions and advice do we ultimately listen to and follow. And we landed somewhere between taking advice from people that actually know us, and advice that our body already knows is the truth that our subconscious mind and gut feeling has already known, but just needed to hear it from someone else’s lips. And this was that kind of advice. Sounds simple, like something a mum would tell her seven-year-old, just be yourself.

In the spirit of simply being as me, I hopped onto my MacBook Air that’s served me well these last five years, and felt like sharing five things about moi. I’m hoping to make this a recurring thing. Help motivate me and keep me accountable, pretty please?

1.Something I’ve Loved Doing

I have been running, a lot. I’m not sure if my legs are uneven in length or if I have an injury somewhere along my right leg, but I’ve always hated running or even walking long distance, especially when it’s an uphill battle as I get this sharp pain along my calf muscles. I can’t quite pinpoint what exactly it was two months ago that made something in my brain go ‘I need to get moving’. I think it’s a combination of:

a) realising that my body is at its unhealthiest form as I haven’t really been moving like I did when I was working at the office – from walking to the office, to walking out for lunch, or walking to a colleague’s desk to taking multiple trips to the office pantry, and since I organized plenty of events, simply walking everywhere and anywhere. Little movements everyday do so much in helping us stay in shape. In the last year and especially on weekdays where I stay at home unless I have errands to run, my body has been in a state of stagnant. Yes, it’s been easier to gain weight but more than that, I felt really really weak and unfit.

b) being around people who motivated me without even realizing they do. E is a runner and has always been one. After doing laps at the park, he’d come home talking about how he tried something new with his running posture, and how running on his tippy toes or midfoot helped him last longer than running on his soles. Also, hearing my brother-in-law (who competes in marathons) talk about perfecting his heart rate, how maintaining a lower heart rate can increase your stamina and keep you running longer, how running has very little to do with speed but more to do with the relationship you have with your mind and body.

One night almost two months ago, I decided to hit the treadmill and just start running. Whether I lasted five or fifteen minutes, or if I puked after, didn’t matter as long as I pushed my body out of her comfort zone, even if it was just a slight push. The fitness accounts on social media are always pointing out that you’re doing something wrong in your exercises and it’s easy to be demotivated. When the truth is, any movement is better than nothing at all. Fast forward, I realised just how much running helped me compartmentalize my thoughts, especially since the last couple of months have been so, so heavy for me, something I may open up about someday in the future. But just a thirty-minute nonstop run did wonders for my mental health, not to mention I feel so much stronger and my sleep quality has improved significantly (of course + the Magnesium pills from Moom that have been super helpful).

I will say it’s important to find what works for you. E loves running at the park early mornings or right before sunset, my brother-in-law runs around his neighbourhood when night falls. Me being someone who gets easily overstimulated by people and noise, I love running at night right before bedtime, in our empty gym (thankful that our apartments residents prefer exercising either in the mornings or at the park), with the lights switched off overlooking the garden and pool, AirPods in with an amazing, butt-kicking playlist at the ready. Miss You by Oliver Tree & Robin Schulz really gets me going, but my favourite uplifting playlist has to be the Mamma Mia Soundtrack On Spotify – especially Dancing Queen, Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!, and Voulez-Vous. I recently purchased a LuluLemon running set, aside from the pair of yoga pants and yoga mat I already own, and I definitely want to invest in cuter outfits being the Taurus that I am. But, I want to see if I can keep up the consistency before I take the (expensive) plunge and swipe the card. Fair, right?

2.What I’ve Been Consuming

I generally consume ALOT – whether its movies or reading. Recently, I’ve loved listening to podcasts especially on long solo drives commuting back home to visit my parents. Though I will say it’s important to choose your podcasts wisely. I find that Ted Talks Daily can be boring (that’s just my preference) but podcasts by some of my favourite influencers who I already love and can relate to on social media, and who I can see myself being friends with in real life – those are the podcasts where I won’t as easily get distracted, which I truly enjoy and find myself taking mental notes as I drive. Some of my favourites are:

I’ve been spending lots of solo time watching some really good tv shows on my laptop in our bedroom on nights where I just need to recharge and reset. Madmen and Fate- The Winx Saga are two of my current favourites. Very different but both very enjoyable, although Madmen is on an entirely different league, E loves it too. Him & I have also striked a really good balance with our spooky movie nights. We even went to the cinema for Alien Romulus just last week which was sooo good! (in a gory, bloodbath kind of way.) Had us on the edge of our seats the entire two hours.

I’ve been a good reader lately but I’ll save this for a separate post on book reviews like I always do. Currently reading Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors – Eerily enough, I am the youngest of four sisters and can’t help but try to identify and match our personalities with the four sister characters in the book. I’m seeing alot of myself in Nicky (the dead sister, HAHA).

Other than that, I’ve been reading lots from two of my favourite magazines, The New Yorker and Architectural Digest.

3.Favourite Purchases & What’s In My Cart

It’s been a month of shopping locals.

I’ve been wanting a tennis bracelet to complete my wrist stack, but couldn’t land on one. I’m a bangle person rather than a bracelet one and don’t like having something flimsy on my wrist – too messy and too much of a hassle (although my Valentino one is an exception). WanderlustandCo is my favourite local jewellery brand and it was love at first sight when I spotted their Brilliant Bezel 14K Gold Vermeil Bangle earlier this year. I purchased it last week at twenty-five percent off (!) in honour of the brand’s birthday and have been wearing it this entire weekend. I love it so much and it’s the perfect combination of structure and dainty.

I’d like to think of myself as a responsible shopper. I very rarely impulse-buy and take the time to think if I really like or need something before I actually click ‘Checkout’. It’s completely normal for clothes to sit and marinate in my Cart for weeks or months before I actually commit. This was the case when I finally splurge on two clothing items from Duck – the Ava Set in Dark Rose. I originally fell in love with the set in Orchid which is a darker pink magenta colour, however seeing that it’s been sold out for like forever, I went with Dark Rose which come to think of it, is the perfect colour match for me. E and I have a vacation planned for November in my favourite city (aaaa I’m so excited!!!) which requires layers and knits, and I can’t wait to style my Ava. While I was at it, i also invested in the most stunning & elegant pair of jeans – the Wide Leg Jeans in Blue that’s adorned with the prettiest gold metal buttons and chains. I could see myself wearing this with an array of shirts or sweaters tucked in. I wear an XS.

You know how I feel about Petit Moi and the pieces they create. I had the opportunity to sit down with the team last Friday afternoon for a focus group session where I got to meet such incredible ladies from all walks of life, including the founder and team behind the brand, working professionals, single women and stay-at-home-moms that all resonate with the brand, and we got to chat about the designs we love and pieces we’d like to see in the future. One thing we all agreed with is the whimsical nature of the brand and how it’s such a celebration of pattern and colours that gives space for the maximalist and inner child within us to shine bright. One of their most popular set wears is the Caro Kurung, featuring the prettiest flower pattern and very French-like smocked details – it’s also the first piece from Petit Moi that I purchased back in 2022. Last week, I got the Caro Kurung in Burgundy Floral which I have been eyeing for a while now. I cannot wait to wear it, as a set and as separate pieces paired with my new denim.

What’s in my cart

I know I’ve been talking about jewellery and apparels. But what really is in my cart are electronics. As a child and teenager, I’ve always loved baking with my mum and although I’ve tried cooking, I find it doesn’t excite me as much as the warm, fuzzy feeling I get pulling an equally warm and fuzzy pie, a loaf of bread or brownie tray out of the oven. The KitchenAid Stand Mixer has been a dream of mine ever since I can remember and I have a feeling it’ll be in my home very soon, hopefully by the end of the year. It’s quite a splurge and I want to make sure that I’m committed towards baking and willl be dedicated towards the endeavour before I pull the lever, literally.

4.A Design Feature & Art That’s Inspired Me

E and I are at that stage where we’ve started thinking about our forever home. We both have very distinct tastes of what we want in a home – nothing too big and cosy, and I would love a well decorated home. I’m happy with what I’ve done in our current home but owning our own place means we’ll be able to include build-in wardrobes, have plenty of arches around the house, floral wallpapers galore especially in the powder room, walls painted other than white and everything and more. I’ve been on a mission this year to figure out more about myself and especially the kind of aesthetic I like. I know for a fact I don’t like minimalism, in fact in the book Anita DeMonte Laughs Last, she talked about how minimalism destroyed art which I feel very strongly about. I also know I’m not all the way maximalist as I can get overstimulated when things are too cluttered and loud. And a quick Pinterest scroll led me to believe that my aesthetic may be what we call ‘Classic Eclectic’. That explains why I love Ralph Lauren yet at the same time feel the need to pair it with bright green mary-janes.

Which means I’ve been spending a lot of my free time looking for interior inspiration. My favourite resources are Architectural Digest, Homeworthy (they feel less scripted and every home has such a unique personal touch, I love it), and of course Pinterest. Here are three design features I’m currently loving (photo courtesy: Pinterest).

I have a tonne of cheap art laying around the house which I’ll be the first to admit. (So if you were planning on calling me out on it, I beat you to it HAHA!). I got a couple of prints online just to complete the spaces in our home after we got married, and the plan was always to eventually replace them with more meaningful art pieces from our travels. At twenty-nine, I haven’t quite figured out the kind of art I like. I’ll be honest, I’m still finding ways to appreciate art. I recently followed Amelia Jayne on instagram and fell in love with her art. Her paintings, ‘Call Me’ and ‘Tangled Together’ are quickly becoming my favourites and I cannot wait to start collecting them. I’m not sure what her painting style is called, if you do know please break it down for me, and come through with other similar recommendations. Thank you!

5.How I’m Feeling & Thoughts I’ve Been Pondering With

I will forever emphasize the importance of reflecting, and by that I mean sitting with my thoughts, looking back at my actions and the role I had to play in situations and seeing if that was the best possible version of myself – whether it’s how I spoke to someone else, how I spoke ABOUT myself, or how I handled conflict. For at least the last two months, I put my reflections on the back burner. So much was happening and it all felt like go! go! go! I could just feel my body, mind (and mouth) behaving in ways I would otherwise hate receiving, let alone giving. Here’s the thing, call it wishful thinking but I’d like to think that if your intentions are genuine and you’re generally a good person who’s simply overwhelmed by life and work and everything else, your body subconsciously knows if you’ve behaved out of your natural element and will send you signals to pause and reflect.

I took every afternoon during our trip to Georgetown, Penang to sit with myself and my emotions and held myself accountable. Never underestimate the power of your thoughts, a pen and a paper. I wrote down a list of things I didn’t like about myself, what I’d like improve, followed by what I loved about myself, and journaled which really helped me reset. When you’re feeling down about yourself though, it helps to know that no one else sees you the way you see you. That realization really helped me snap back into a better place eventually. We’re such tough critics on our own selves (unless you’re a narcissist, LOL. But that’s a story for another day).

But then comes part two – dealing with people who have zero control & accountability for their actions. I found myself in situations with people who had more issues with themselves than they did with me, and boy that messed me up for a few weeks. Dr. Nicole LePerera’s book, How To Do The Work is an amazing place to start. I really think that when life overwhelms you to the point you have no control of your emotions where you might be a nasty person, take a step back, quarantine yourself and get your act together. Otherwise, you’re just splashing your negative energy all around. Sadly, so many people don’t do this, are super oblivious and literally just go around draining people’s energy whether it’s making snarky remarks, inappropriate comments, insults that are wrapped up in jokes, unnecessary confrontations or just pure jealousy that can easily set our nervous system in a ‘fight or flight’ yet again.

I will be writing a separate post on some of the lessons I’ve learned from navigating relationships in my 20’s. Come to think of it, we all grew up different environments, have distinctively different attachment styles, each carrying our own traumas and stress from the responsibilities we hold, it’s no wonder people relationships are incredibly complex to navigate. However, here are some nuggets of truth the school of life has taught me:

Some people will just never like you no matter what you do or however much you try to convince them. You could be amazing to them but their personal envy towards how you look, the life you lead, the grades you get, the kinds of holidays you take or even the family life you have, will splash all over their lens of the relationship and taint everything else.

You can’t please everyone…but you do have a duty to try to be a nice person if you do want them in your life. I came across a post this weekend that read:

I loved, loved what she says, especially the point ‘match my effort’. Are we holding space for the people we love and who love us so they also feel heard, seen & valued? Are we reciprocating & leading with kindness? If we are, then the ball is in their court. Otherwise, we’ve got some work to do. Whether it’s checking in via a quick text, giving genuine compliments, acknowledging their emotions and holding a safe, judgement-free space, I’ve learned that a little effort goes a long, long way in making someone feel valued.

Until the next edition of My Five Things.

Love,

Alyia

Share this:

Like this:

Leave a
Comment