Hitting The Reset Button
This will probably be a short one without any central theme, though I do share some tips and nuggets of wisdom. Think of it as a newsletter if you will, or a journal entry instead of the usual blogpost.
I hit the reset button last week. It wasn’t intentional and come to think about it, it wasn’t very different than a normal week as I ran my usual errands, in fact, did all the things I procrastinated on doing, however the mindset I was on definitely made the week different.
I came across this social media trend weeks ago centred around ‘When you remember you have free will’ and something sparked in me. I’ve been talking to E in the last couple of months about how we’re adults and can basically do anything we wish – like eat ice cream for breakfast, book a trip whenever we want to, decide to bake at 2am, go to the gym anytime we want to, literally anything the fifteen year olds in us wished they could do. Isn’t that the point of growing up, being able to do anything you want? II came across a video of a girl squeezing strawberries by the sink and gobbling it up instead of chopping it up and eating them from a plate, amongst many other silly videos that got me thinking. I guess most of us do practice having free will within reasonable amounts like staying up late binge-watching Mad Men on Netflix (currently on season 6 and it’s so good!) or eating instant noodles seven times a week, or spontaneously booking a trip every now and then, or going for a late night drive. But, this really got me asking the question how far am I willing to take this free will? I’m quite happy where I’m at, but it’s a nice thought.
Early last week, we were woken up with sad news that an extended family relative had passed away and so the week started with a funeral + a series of prayers. Of course, any death whether near or far can make you feel certain things, but I’ve realised after my grandmother’s death about four years ago that I handle death differently. In many ways, I’m at peace with it which is weird since I’m usually a crier and feel things very deeply. Of course, I’m grateful and count myself lucky that all my loved ones are still very much around. In fact, I don’t even want to think how I’d respond to any bad news. However, death within the network of people around me tends to leave me feeling shocked and most of all, simply tired. There is that sudden reflection of how life is short and how tomorrow is not promised, but above all just a complete tiredness that follows. I’m sure it’s the same for everyone. If anything, the core takeaway for me is always the importance of financial management and having a backup plan.
Anyways, I decided it was time for a reset, more physical than mental this time which is unusual for me. I usually wait for a full mental breakdown (LOL) before deciding to take time off, which is usually centred around loads of thinking and reflection. Whereas in this series of reset, reboot & recharge, I simply did all the things I wanted to do – left my phone to charge in the bedroom while I watched some tv and chatted for eight hours, completely disconnected; made my own cup of hot chocolate and brought it to a cafe that doesn’t serve anything aside from pastries, coffee and matcha for breakfast (it was my own little way of sticking out the middle finger. Only I knew I did it, but man did that felt good). And a couple of things I already do every couple of times a week, but I guess with a new mindset, I felt more carefree, mindful and present this time.
I also completely paused on posting anything on Instagram after months of posting consistently – something I love, love doing. People have no idea what standing in front of a camera and speaking or sharing things can do to your sense of self, confidence and ultimately cultivating that feeling of not giving two craps what anyone thinks. I’m so happy I started the journey. But allowing myself the grace of simply being still felt so relaxing. E always jokes that I’m really good at relaxing. I can take things really slowly when I want to and just enjoy things as they are, rarely in a rush. I’d like to think I take after my father at that.
Here are a couple of other things I did last week, mostly super normal stuff. But I wanted this little experience I had in the past week to have its own space on the blog. So, here we go.
Gave Up on Blue Sisters
I did very little reading, unless you consider flipping through ten pages over the span of seven days as reading. Earlier this year, I made a vow to myself that come rain or shine, or boring plots and whatnots, I shall finish every book I start. I did good in the last eight months reading almost twelve books (which is a record for me, given the fact I read only one book last year), however I am so, so ANGRY at Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors because this is the one book that I tried reading all through September and I haven’t even read one/third of the book. I don’t ever wanna drag authors + the book is rated four stars on Goodreads, so I’m pretty sure it’s good. But Bonnie’s boxing story is just so draggy and boring. I’d usually look forward to cosying up in bed with a book but Blue Sisters just made me dread those moments and I reached so fast for my phone every single time I attempted to read. So, I’ve moved on to The Song of Achilles which seems promising. Then, I have ten books to finish before January next year, including Starling House by Alix E. Harrow, and Grimstone by Sophie Lark – both set in a haunted manor, which is very up my alley. Exciteeeddd!
Packing For an Upcoming Trip + YouTube
I’ll never forget how funny it was introducing E to modern day YouTube six years ago. He assumed that YouTube was just for music (how cute). When in actuality, it’s saturated with documentaries, fun vlogs, travel guides, interviews, news and quite literally, everything. Now it’s our favourite past time activity. We love watching cooking videos, especially Japanese sushi and ramen-making videos that can be soooo therapeutic. My favourites are obviously home and beauty related, but also walking street tours around cities i love. These are so fun to watch and I always feel like I’m walking the beautiful streets of Europe. We have a trip coming up that I’m super excited about. It’s somewhere we have been before, but its two of our favourite cities, so we had to visit again. The architecture, weather, cafes lined up across the streets – j’adore! We booked our tickets six months ago and it’s nice having something to look forward to. Having a trip lined up always motivates me to work harder so the trip itself feels like a reward. Research is key prior to any travel so you’re not wasting time or money at attractions and restaurants that aren’t worth your energy. Make sure your itinerary is ready before boarding the flight. I would love to share a travel guide but I don’t wanna let the cat out of the bag yet, so we’ll just have to wait until after.
She’s Been Working Out
I started looking at the running I do at the gym as part of my daily routine, and so far that mindset has helped me maintain consistency. Hence, I powered on throughout my reset week. I’m definitely not there yet but at least I’m here and I’m doing the work now to get there. Nobody talks about how difficult it is to build stamina once you’ve started running. Hitting the gym is one thing, but the results aren’t the same everyday. I had Indian food the other night for dinner (Passage Through India – by far the best in the city) and I could barely run because I felt so heavy. Then there’s minor ankle injuries from not having the right running posture. There’s so much to learn which I’ve come to realise is all part of the journey. I sent a text to my dad updating him that I’m getting faster and he said ‘Who knows you may even enter a quarter marathon in the future’. I never thought of it, but it’s incredible what little words of encouragement can do for you :’)
It’s Twilight Season
Although it isn’t Autumn where I live, the rainy season came early. If the parka fits, I shall wear it. Last week, I snuggled with my blanket in front of the tv almost every day and decided to rewatch Twilight. Best decision ever. I rewatched the whole series with E about two years ago, he loves it too – which only makes him more masculine in my eyes (hence I married him). As of Sunday night I’ve rewatched the first three movies and New Moon still has to be my favourite. I enjoyed the whole Jacob transitioning into a wolf thingy. Will be finishing up Breaking Dawn in the next couple of days. #TeamJacob but sometimes #TeamEdward. Sixteen years of being undecided. Cue: I’m just a girl…
Wardrobe Clean Up
This is what I mean when I say hitting the reset button doesn’t always mean doing nothing all day. In fact, I’ve been wanting to do a full wardrobe reset for the last two months but never got to it. It got to the point where I couldn’t find my clothes that were buried deep and would keep wearing the same thing. I have a minor organisation OCD and just the thought that my clothes are a mess inside my closet gave me so much anxiety. It’s all money and investments at the end of the day. So, if you buy something, make sure you wear it. I successfully reorganised my entire wardrobe over an afternoon in just three steps:
a) I purged the pieces that no longer sparked joy. In the words of Marie Kondo. For me, its clothes that do not fit and probably will not fit in the near realistic future, items that do not resonate with my current self or the style I’d like to identify myself with in the future, and pieces that I don’t feel beautiful in.
b) I created extra space for the clothes I loved. Seems like an easy fix, but alot of the times we’re trying to squeeze in too many clothes into a small closet and what happens is – they’re either rolled into a mountain or hung to the brim of non-existence, making them appear so unattractive that we end up purging them down the road. When they actually did have potential, but just lacked presentation. We had extra space in our spare/ guest room and I did a full takeover since E already has half of his clothes in his study as well. I can now actually see my dresses, skirts and blouses. I had a chat with my mum who takes pride in looking presentable and put-together, a woman who loves shopping and all her shiny things. We came to the conclusion that part of being a woman is to enjoy nice things, so make the space and enjoy it.
c) Invested in a clothing rack. I’m trying out this thing where I lay out my clothes for the week ahead on a rack. This way, I’m able to rotate the clothes in my wardrobe to make sure I’m actually using them. Planning in advance also allows me to style pieces rather than just wearing it as it is. I’ll keep you updated on the progress. I also reorganised my jewellery over the weekend. I got these gorgeous velvety green trays and so far, it’s made sorting out my jewelleries easier.
A Fun Night Laughing With Friends
I’m probably going to butcher the saying, but it goes something like ‘what is life if you have a big table but no one to have dinner with’.… We went for a really nice Japanese dinner on Saturday night with some friends. We laughed and chatted so much. It was exactly the energy I needed to push me into a new week and end the reset. The restaurant was run by a husband and wife duo, both Japanese. Reminded me of the book Welcome to The Hyunam-Dong Bookshop. Yes, the book is Korean and revolves around a bookshop, but it exuded the same cosy vibes. I felt like I had been transported to an izakaya in Japan. Their eight-year-old daughter was finishing up her homework in the table next to ours and we were the only ones in the restaurant. If you like authentic Japanese food, like really authentic with fish gizzards, and liver, I’d recommend Toriya Lab. The food wasn’t really my thing. I still consider myself a beginner, but I did enjoy their crab and mackerel sashimi air-flown from Japan. By far the best I have ever had.
I’m so glad I hit the reset button. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have cleared out my wardrobe or truly been able to fully appreciate the simple pleasures of life that I sometimes take for granted. Here’s a reminder that you don’t need to wait for a mental breakdown before hitting the big, round, red reset button. Sometimes it’s best to do it when the button is still green – when you’re in a good mood. That way, you’ll be able to strike a balance between relaxing + getting important chores done. Chores that you would otherwise never make time for.
I really enjoyed typing up this blogpost (that feels more like a weekly journal), on my blue couch as Isla Fisher’s Leap Year is playing in the background.
Until my next entry.
Love,
alyia